Thursday, October 15, 2009

15 Oct 2009

wow it's being almost 7 months since i've updated my blog. looking back at previous entries, i really missed the past and i've moved on to another chapter of my life. never did i think that i could get into the university which i admire the most, SMU. it's like a dream still. though its the 2nd half of the semester.

everyone moved on and grow. the guys are now ALL in army. as usual, life in SMU is hactic. weeks passes by quickly. lesser time for gatherings...

17th sep 2009, just celebrated 4th year. nth posh, just a simple breakfast at elias mall kopitiam. but i'm happy. really happy. i fell deeper and deeper in love throughout these years. looking forward to our future. weird, int the past, he used to love me more than i love him, but it's e other way now. i tried to change to make up for the past. but is useless. i guess my love for him makes him feel stress. he's not happy. one day, he suddenly initiate a break. i know its a common thing. all my friends know tt we kept breaking and patching. but i've changed. i just want a stable relationship. is not me. after a few days, i tried to pretend nth happened and asked him out for breakfast hoping we can just forget everything and patch up. i tried to hold his hands in the lift. he rejected saying he's tired, didn't sleep for 24 hrs. we talked instead of having breakfast. i cried till my eyes were swollen. his attitude is still the same. is all my fault. i ruin his life. is not that he can't bring me happiness. i am the one that can't make him happy. whatever changes i made is useless. mayb it's time to let go cuz the problem is always there. but evertime he pretend nothing happened and call me, i will just go back to him. and the cycle repeats every year.